“It’s probably fake news. I’m gonna call Donald.”
1. Here we go! Time to see if all the bizarre promo art has anything at all to do with the actual show. (Spoiler alert: It never does.)
2. “I’m working on becoming an Instagram influencer, and I refuse to show my full ass crack, so my hairstyle has to be on point.” Leslie Grossman already coming in hot with the one-liners.
3. Coco must be the only person in LA who doesn’t like cold-pressed juice.
4. The least believable part of this whole thing is that people have their phones set to ring, not buzz, when the emergency alert sounds. Literally no one does that.
5. But real talk: I would immediately shit my pants if I got that alert. Sorry.
6. I’m glad Billy Eichner and Leslie Grossman are together in every AHS universe. It feels right.
7. The news anchor saying goodbye to his children is actually incredibly poignant.
8. “Daddy loves you.” And now I’m crying.